This Is A Test Of The Pledging Cougar's Club

June 3, 2010

It is my first full day in town. I had to go to class last night, so I was rather late coming in. I talked to the incredible hunk on the way down. He sounded so pitiful that I almost felt sorry for him. He called to tell me that he had fallen and broken his foot. (Although I did express my sincere regret for his misfortune, I can't help but admit my delight. He won't be able to do very much tomcattin' around with a big ole' plaster cast and boot; now, will he?) I said all the right things in the right places and wished him well. He ended the conversation by telling me: "Make 'em wear a condom". It was a calculated statement meant to fish out my intentions. Bless his heart, he is having a real hard time figuring out that I am too smart for his bologna. I thought quickly, swallowed my first reaction, and just as I hung up the phone, I said: "oh, don't worry. I have a box in my luggage." Just as the phone went dead, I heard a voice on the other end saying...."a booxxx...."

I got up this morning and hit the treadmill and that blasted stairmaster. I tried to use the sauna, but I couldn't figure out how to make the cals burn. With visions of last summer's medical disaster, I decided to play it safe. The sauna would have to wait. Just as I made it back to the room to change clothes for a day of lazy riverin', the biggest storm came up, thundering and lightening popping all around. AS we stood around watching the light show, we noticed seadoos out in the distance. I remember someone saying out loud that those idiots should return to shore immediately. (That will become important later)

I was worried about the oilslick getting to the snow crab legs before I could eat my fill so I gorged myself for lunch, today. Now that I think aobut it, snow crab comes from Alaska so the oil spill shouldn't have any affect on the price...oh, I digress.

We came home and changed into our swimsuits - as quickly as nine women can change into anything - then we headed down to the lazy river for an afternoon of fun in the sun.
I noticed those boys as soon as I arrived, but for some reason, I couldn't seem to find the nerve to approach them as easily as I have done in years past. Cindy's sister, Stephanie, is my kind of girl...almost. She sat on her lounge chair and oogled those boys most of the afternoon. In fact, at one point, while she was trying to adjust her towel, she said: "oowww....let me sit my fat butt down before they see how big it is."
I have never struggled with nerve when it comes to doing audacious things, but I was struggling. Maybe, it was being single in the middle of all these married women. Perhaps, that is what put a kink in my stride. Anyway, I sat in my chair and told myself all the reasons why I should get up and go introduce myself to the boys.
Eventually, I did it. However, I used my posse as a pick up line. I approached the three of them and asked them if they would help me win a bet. I convinced them that all the girls across the pool deck had dared me to come over and get the scoop. (Nothing could be farther from the truth. In fact, I think it took the girls quite a while to notice that I was missing in action.
Two of them were brothers from New Orleans. The third, Cole, was a friend who also worked with the brothers. They were all fisherman for a seafood company in town. Business was slow - as we can all imagine - so they decided to make the best of the down time with a trip to the beach.
I asked all sorts of questions, but the most depressing answer was the one that they told me that they would be leaving the next morning. Why do I always meet the coolest folks the night before they are scheduled to leave??
Anyway, I turned around to find Cindy coming up behind me with my cell phone. She haded it and told me that it was ringing. Personally, I think that she just wanted a closer look because one of those brothers was most fine, with a strategically placed tattoo right between his shoulder blades...sorry. I digress, again.
I did have a text message. It was from Kristy. It said: "mama said it's time to feed the baby." I looked back at Cindy, who could barely stand up straight from laughter, but I was too deeply involved in getting to know my new friends to be distracted.
During the course of conversation, I learned that they had two seadoos here. They also told me that they had ridden them this morning. After a couple of additional quesions, I learned that those were the idiots out on the bay during a rather impressive lightening storm. Suddenly, the boys on the seadoos didn't seem so idiotic; they seemed dangerous, like bad boys. mmmmm....
I returned to my posse with my chest all swollen like a girl with a fresh boob job. The girls were asking questions faster than I could answer. Here was only response: Girls, I have secured our entertainment for the evening, if anyone is interested. :)